Single Ladies: A Retrospective
So I have two friends that I'm meeting at school next week. Chelsea "Basic Black" Hensley and Rachel Boone. They have a borderline obsession with my mom, who is undeniably awesome.
I decided to start this blog right as I approach the crossroads of my old life and my new life. Therefore, some of this blog is going to consist of older stories and not just "OMG MY DAY WITH BLAH BLAH BLAH, MY TERM PAPER THIS, I CRAP EXCELLENCE CAUSE I'M MICKEY WHITE. I GO TO MIZZOU, TO HELL WITH ROCK CHALK."
No.
This story is about the first person I knew that had a blog on blogger. Chelsea "Blaq Attaq" Hensley. She writes a blog currently titled "The Last Single Girl". Not everyone that I have talked about it with is a fan, but this gives me a chuckle. An overtly sexual blog from an awkward teenage feminist. I guess you could consider this an advertisement for a friend. And because I want to avoid mentioning Aldo (oops) in this post, I am going to conclude this post with my ten favorite quotes from "The Last Single Girl".
1. And while it is currently unknown, in the words of Melanie, "if he's a forty-year old man in his mom's basement waiting for fish sticks", some of us are still sorting out our feelings on the matter.
2. "If you don't start shaving up there, I'm going to stop shaving down there." This is how women should do it. No more of that bull about withholding sex in general.
3. According to Paolo, as he put it, his penis is eleven American inches which is, by my calculations, 279.4 millimetri
4. I've been told more than once that I'm an Oreo (black on the outside and white on the inside) which isn't so much offensive as just the easiest way to explain what I'm like.
5. Anyway, my mind was blown by this new discovery. Especially since the words Sexy and Period just don't go together. It's an oxymoron. Like jumbo shrimp, brief speeches, controlled chaos, airplane food, etc.
6. If he doesn't have a Bromance, there's something wrong with him. I kid you not.
7. "Hey, I know you, trust you, and I apparently don't mind your mere presence. Wanna take my virginity?"
8. I've seen a few private parts belonging to my male friends and it's not that big of a deal. It goes more like "Oh, so you do have one."
9. The underwear is meant to be worn IN CONJUNCTION, as in ALONG WITH, your usual pad/tampon routine.
10. In honesty, I envy Jenna Jameson. She has way more money than I do.
I decided to start this blog right as I approach the crossroads of my old life and my new life. Therefore, some of this blog is going to consist of older stories and not just "OMG MY DAY WITH BLAH BLAH BLAH, MY TERM PAPER THIS, I CRAP EXCELLENCE CAUSE I'M MICKEY WHITE. I GO TO MIZZOU, TO HELL WITH ROCK CHALK."
No.
This story is about the first person I knew that had a blog on blogger. Chelsea "Blaq Attaq" Hensley. She writes a blog currently titled "The Last Single Girl". Not everyone that I have talked about it with is a fan, but this gives me a chuckle. An overtly sexual blog from an awkward teenage feminist. I guess you could consider this an advertisement for a friend. And because I want to avoid mentioning Aldo (oops) in this post, I am going to conclude this post with my ten favorite quotes from "The Last Single Girl".
1. And while it is currently unknown, in the words of Melanie, "if he's a forty-year old man in his mom's basement waiting for fish sticks", some of us are still sorting out our feelings on the matter.
2. "If you don't start shaving up there, I'm going to stop shaving down there." This is how women should do it. No more of that bull about withholding sex in general.
3. According to Paolo, as he put it, his penis is eleven American inches which is, by my calculations, 279.4 millimetri
4. I've been told more than once that I'm an Oreo (black on the outside and white on the inside) which isn't so much offensive as just the easiest way to explain what I'm like.
5. Anyway, my mind was blown by this new discovery. Especially since the words Sexy and Period just don't go together. It's an oxymoron. Like jumbo shrimp, brief speeches, controlled chaos, airplane food, etc.
6. If he doesn't have a Bromance, there's something wrong with him. I kid you not.
7. "Hey, I know you, trust you, and I apparently don't mind your mere presence. Wanna take my virginity?"
8. I've seen a few private parts belonging to my male friends and it's not that big of a deal. It goes more like "Oh, so you do have one."
9. The underwear is meant to be worn IN CONJUNCTION, as in ALONG WITH, your usual pad/tampon routine.
10. In honesty, I envy Jenna Jameson. She has way more money than I do.
Labels: #blaqattaq
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